Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Scheduled insanity would be better

Its now wed. Three days after our return from CA and I'm still not back on track! Whenever we go out of town I feel like I've left the planet and it takes an amazing amount of time for me to regain my equilibrium. I'm all emotionally Topsy-turvey and in a battle with schedule vertigo. If I find it in me to make plans, I'm facing a different direction when the time comes time to follow through. But this is just silliness - today I am accomplishing what I purpose to do. And that's that.

I have managed to make dinner every night this week. Something I haven't been doing for months. That's a start. Yesterday we had Sabrina and her kids over for dinner and I think the boys were very grateful. They seem to go into withdrawals with out at least a biweekly meeting with the cousins. Those kids are so close, they really are more like siblings. Which is kind of cool. I remember wishing I had cousins my age when I was young. But I left a huge mess for myself last night and its staring at me today. If I could just fight through the exhaustion and clean up a little before bed our mornings would be so much more pleasant. I recently made myself a new daily schedule and things were going pretty well until the long weekend. It took a total of three days to send me straight back into my old ways. My weakness is always just under the surface. I'm so grateful God gives me a new start every morning.

I have recently been very interested in the life of that AMAZING woman on Jon and Kate plus 8. People often talk of the inspiration or encouragement they gain from certain songs or music or whatever and I never quite understand how they get so much from just another famous person. But now I do. That woman inspires me. Truly. Whenever I start to get stressed or feel like losing myself to the circus, I think of her dealing with eight demanding little people always underfoot - and I know that if someone can endure that everyday and still want to live the day at its fullest - surely I can handle whatever my three have in store. And I really admire people who are so organized like that. I try to be, but often fall just a little bit short of gaining complete control. I can get things organized and put together but scheduling is different. I am an easily (emphasis added) easily distracted person so anything can through me off track. A phone call, a spill, and crazy paranoid mom thought (you know like when you see a lump on your child's neck, it can go from a swollen gland from the ongoing cold to a tumor in a matter of seconds) , an invitation to do something more fun, and sudden need to re-arrange the furniture, etc. all can change my well planned day into unproductive chaos. How my husband puts up with me is one of God's wonders. I seem to too often go where my mind will take me. As result, dinner is late and chores pile up. Still he remains very encouraging and believes I get to the things that are important. I try to be on top of things but I guess its my creative, right-brain that gets in the way. I'm way too much of a scatterbrain to be that ridged. But I'm good at impromptu projects, like suddenly painting a room, rearranging the house, or art projects for the kids.
Anyway, my goal is to find more of a balance between the two. I want to get my chores done yet still go with the flow of what the day brings. I think the key is in getting up early. Or at least earlier.
And maybe leaving the furniture where it is.

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