Wednesday, May 14, 2008

My little man is a little man

My oldest is now 6! 6!! I can't believe it. And that weird melancholy feeling has been hanging around lately. On his actually birthday we made a cake and gave him our presents (just our family) and he thought that was wonderful. Then, that night I pulled out his baby album to show him how little he once was and since then I've had a pit in the middle of my stomach. This strange, uncomfortable nostalgia has been looming about. I just don't get it. I saw those pictures and my heart broke. My baby is gone. I have no desire to go back to that time but I'm still sad that it's gone. Like I said - very strange.
On Saturday we had his party - a trip to the mini grand prix. The kids had a blast!!! The adults too. Sergeant and I might even return for date night sometime. I beat everyone on the race track. By a couple laps!!! They all swear I had an unusually fast car - but I definitely enjoyed the moment. I'm normally not very successful at these things.
We left Beauty Queen home with my mom to get dinner ready. So we returned with a group of exhausted children to a feast topped off with a cookie cake and presents. I got Alex his first cap gun and shocked the grandparents. I was never against toy guns, I just tried to hold off for as long as possible. But now I have a feeling I've opened the flood gate of toy weaponry. oh well, instead of the Lego guns and swords made of vacuum parts - they'll just have more realistic props. Boys seem to come into the world with an understanding/need of aggression and destruction. In the end, the cowboy pistols were his favorite. See. My little baby who used to let me eat his feet and blow on his stomach is now a six shooter. sigh.
Okay, two things I will always remember about the Negotiator this year . . .
1. how he amazed me with our first year of homeschooling. He really is brilliant and working with him reminds me how everything I do will affect him forever.
2. his desire to make others laugh. He's growing into quite the clown and will do anything silly to make his family and peers giggle. From funny faces to silly dances and crazy sayings he will go to all lengths for a smile.

My heart aches for his little baby face wrapped up like a little burrito, but I'm also looking forward to watching him grow more and more. He is an amazing gift and I'm grateful to know him.

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